One Becomes Peaceful By Tolerance

Question from audience: I’ve heard Srila Prabhupada say that while the material body is there the attraction is there. Does a sober person feel the attraction and simply doesn’t act upon it or does he lose the attraction completely?

HH JAS: He loses the attraction and if somehow the attraction is there, some left over sexual thought or impulse, he thinks it’s so nasty. In the Bhagavad Gita, (sanskrit), the ocean is still even though so many rivers are running into it, similarly a person who is dhīraḥ, who is sober, (sanskrit) he’s also feeling sometimes some desires: "I’d like to do that...this is so nice.."
It may come to him but he controls that, he knows some desires come because I have the body so some thought has come, some desire has come but it’s nonsense so he’s not disturbed. (Sanskrit) therefore he’s peaceful, one becomes peaceful by tolerance.
. EXCERPTS FROM: HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE
– SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Delhi Ladus...Suffering Guaranteed!

HH JAS: Prabhupad said that sex life is like the Delhi Ladu. The famous celebrated Ladus of Delhi and if you haven’t had one or if you don’t have one then you want one. So you're in anxiety: Can I get that Delhi Ladu? Where can I get that Ladu? And those who’ve gotten it are also suffering because it's so rich ....it just does you in! So those who don’t have it are lamenting and those that have it are lamenting: So those that are aspiring for sex enjoyment they are suffering and those who are getting sex enjoyment those are also suffering.
. EXCERPTS FROM: HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE
– SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Make The Best Out Of The Bad Bargain

HH JAS: Here the danger is that one can be captivated by these false allurements and try to be happy and wind up dissatisfied and beset by so many troubles, so many troubles, therefore Krishna Consciousness means to become dhiraḥ, sober and self controlled.
We’re already in problems,everyone of us, because we have this material body and we are living in this material world, so there’s nobody who’s not in problematic existence. Prabhupada called it a bad bargain, and making the best use of the bad bargain is to dedicate ourselves to serving Krishna. That’s the only way to solve our problems is to be engaged in devotional service.
. EXCERPTS FROM: HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE
– SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Material Desires Swept Away By Spiritual Pleasure

HH JAS: Just as a sober person doesn’t go chasing after mirages and go running away from illusionary tigers, so a sober person doesn’t become agitated by sex life and try to satisfy these desires one after another after another. Tolerates, so even in the Brahmacharya Ashram and also in the Grhasthas Ashram one has to tolerate that. If one expands the mental concoctions in the Householder Life one becomes a Grhamedhi, then he becomes like the materialistic person trying to satisfy so many desires. So many desires, so many desires and becoming disappointed and in the process losing ones Krishna Consciousness. So one has to learn this art of toleration either in the Brahmacharya Ashram or in the Grhastha Ashram. Therefore Brahmacharya training is there, the Brahmacharya learns how to tolerate so that he becomes a self controlled Grhastha and as a self controlled Grhastha he tolerates so many desires that may arise or as Srila Prabhupada points out here, engages himself in the service in such a way that these desires practically evaporate....they are products of the illusionary energy. So the more one engages himself in the service of Krishna the more these things come under control or they are swept away by the superior force of the spiritual energy: Spiritual pleasure. . EXCERPTS FROM: HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE
– SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Better to Be Sober And Tolerate

HH JAS: One is pushing the mind to get some concocted enjoyment, one is not enjoying... manasijamm or just like people are going to clubs sometimes, Prabhupada said naked sometimes half naked, sometimes bottomless sometimes topless, sometimes with high-heeled shoes: Sometimes this way and that way, just by some kind of mental concoction to try to put some enjoyment there, make some fantastic image of enjoyment and its just mental concoction: manasijamm vissaheta dhirah. Therefore one should become sober and tolerate, viṣaheta dhirahh,a sober person means rather than going through all of this trouble to scratch that itch, to agitate the mind and then try to satisfy that agitated mind, better to be sober and tolerate, all right, some itching is there, it wasn’t there before, later on it wont be there,(sanskrit),it comes it goes, let me tolerate.
. EXCERPTS FROM:
HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE
– SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Concocted Enjoyment

HH JAS: There's an interesting short story by Tolstoy called family happiness. The theme of which basically that there isn’t any and it talks about this woman who gets married, when her husband proposes to her the jasmine are blooming, the nightingales are singing, there’s a kind of intoxication there: ”We’re going to be so happy” and then they get married and everything’s dull!
A lot of writers have good things to say about that but we won’t get into literature class today, 0but its disappointing, manasijamm, because it’s a mental concoction and sooner or later the veneer wears off and one sees what’s really there. Jonathan Swift has some good things to say about that perhaps in some other class and what’s really there: is not attractive, not enjoyable, still one is trying to enjoy and one is pushing the mind to get some concocted enjoyment, one is not enjoying.
. EXCERPTS FROM:
HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE
– SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Mental Concoction

HH JAS: Even if one becomes a big prince with so many wives and concubines and everything, still he won't be satisfied, after so much... trpyanti neha krpana, and my valuable human life I am wasting like a miser... bahu-duhkha-bhajahh kanndutivan manasijamm means the whole thing is just a mental concoction. The whole idea that this is going to make me happy, that this is enjoyment, the whole idea of love, the whole idea that my husband is handsome and that my wife is beautiful: The whole idea that he loves me or she loves me, the whole paradise is a mental concoction!
. EXCERPTS FROM: HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE – SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)

Grhamedi

HH JAS: So... yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaḿ... gṛhamedhi-sukhaḿ means the happiness of materialistic Householder Life, maithunādi, maithunādi means beginning from sex pleasure, (sanskrit),and maithunādi, from sex pleasure, direct sex pleasure, all the other so called pleasures of materialistic family life expand: home and children and so many things or even Prabhupada said skyscraper buildings and big cities there all manifestations of sex life: materialistic householders are increasingly absorbing themselves in the mode of passion and impelled by that passionate mode of which sex life is the central point they are building things and constructing things and expanding their empires all for the same central point. So, maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaḿ hi tucchaḿ... tucchaḿ means insignificant.
All this big deal is being made about what Srila Prabhupada calls the sensational happiness of sex life and Prahlada Maharaja says it’s nothing, even clinically speaking a few minutes of sex pleasure or sexual intercourse(a loud airplane fly’s overhead)... This is also a manifestation of sex life
(Question from audience)7th Canto Chapter 9 Text 45. So tucchaḿ,it’s insignificant, it’s there in every species of life, mosquitoes also have sex life and it’s a big thing for them...but what is it? How important or significant do we think a mosquitoes sex life is? But for the mosquito it's crucial, it's the ultimate high point of his existence. So maithunādi gṛhamedhi-sukhaḿ hi tucchaḿ kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham ... kaṇḍūyanena karayor...the example given is that its like its scratching an itch, someone has a itching sensation and he scratches it and the result of scratching is that it itches more and the result of itching more is that he scratches more and itches and scratches, itches and scratches, that’s sex life... kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham...that’s the comparison, simply scratching an itch and the itch doesn’t go away it gets worse.
Iva duḥkha-duḥkham, the consequence of that sex life is unhappiness. Unhappiness, first of all because it’s tucchaḿ, it’s insignificant so everyone is disappointed...there’s a Latin proverb which in English means “All animals are sad after sex.” All animals are sad after sex, so much endeavor: Male elephants are fighting over the female elephants and this whole huge thing is going on and then they get it and afterwards such a disappointment... tucchaḿ, insignificant and bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ, so much trouble, so many difficulties come, either because it's illicit sex and then there's pregnancy or abortion or there has to be contraception or there's attachment and then there's hatred also in the relationship.(Excerpts from seminar: HOPES AND HORRORS OF HOUSEHOLDER LIFE – SWAMI JAYADVAITA 1992 - PART 4)