31 March 2010

Divya-vani news service, part 3

Lord Vishnu- mysterious power behind the United Demigods

Washington. Ever since the delegation of the United Demigods expressed alarm over global military build ups and returned from the milk ocean with reported assurances of help from Lord Vishnu, Lord Vishnu has been very much in the news. Multinational corporations worry about Him. Think tanks try to figure out His next move. Kings have said to fear His power. Everyone, it seems, has heard of Him.

But who is He?

“We got a huge file on Lord Vishnu”, said a highly placed official at the Central Intelligence Agency speaking under condition of anonymity. “I would say we have more on Him than on anyone else. Tons of data! But all of it is contradictory. Take His whereabouts for example: Lord Vishnu is supposed to have His headquarters in the milk ocean. But where the hack is that?” the official said. “Sometimes we hear that He is Russia, sometimes we hear China, sometimes the Middle East, South America… and forget rumors- I am talking highly reliable reports. So what are we supposed to think? It is like He is everywhere! And for that matter- What is He Lord of? No one seems quite sure”, the CIA official said. “You ask these demigod people, and they just smile and say, “Oh, everything!” what are we supposed to do with that?”

“Vishnu’s age? No one seems to know. His nationality? No one knows. His looks? From most accounts He is exceedingly handsome. But some reports say He is a dwarf. He seems to be the master of disguises. Whatever He may look like, and wherever He may be, at least some information about Lord Vishnu seems fairly consistent: For one thing He is incredibly wealthy”, the CIA official said.”He has got gold, He has got oil, He has got diamonds, He has got timber, He is into biotech. I cannot tell you how much He owns. Anything He wants to do- He has always got the resources. He does not seem to have any limits.”

“And He is astonishingly well informed. He has got eyes and ears everywhere”, said the source at the National Security Agency. “It is like He knows in advance our every move. It is uncanny.”

“And He has power. How much”, said the source at MI5, the British Security Agency, “We do not know. But we have seen His forces wipe out the whole armies just like that. We believe He has nuclear weapons, and maybe even weapons we do not know about. Yet He does not fit the profile of the terrorist. From His track record it seems He supports all the best causes”, said the source at MI5. “But you could say that He is outright benevolent. But He is not all sweet and nice. He has also got this other side to Him- If He thinks you are wrong- watch out.”

Still more puzzling, some reports say the Vishnu is indifferent to opulence and hardly cares about world affairs at all. According to French intelligence sources, what Vishnu most likes to do- despite His money, despite His power, despite everything- is just forget it all and live like a nomad in cow pastures somewhere in India. The French sources hinted, He has a fascination with local village girls.

Two months ago, top level security officials from fourteen countries attended the conference, focused entirely on sharing information about Lord Vishnu. What they found out is that everyone has a different idea. According to one theory- it is all a bluff- Vishnu is just an ordinary man. Others say He is the single most powerful person there is. Another theory says there is no such person as Vishnu at all, an organization maybe, but not a person. And then others say that there are many Vishnus, perhaps something like a Vishnu family, all working together.

The official from the CIA summed it up, “Who is Vishnu? At the end of the day we do not really know.”

HH Jayadvaita Swami, Seminar: Preaching from the news, Radhadesh 2002

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